* May contain inappropriate language
Imagine a diary that was as fucking entertaining as it was functional. Use it for work or home, or don't. Will we ever stop being sarcastic assholes? Find out next week on "I think the fuck not."
The Defamations Diary will guarantee you never miss your psychiatrist appointment again. Keep a note of the forecast: "Hot temper with scattered sarcasm and a shitstorm to be expected." Start each day with "here we fucking go again!"
It's big, black and white with red bits. It's the perfect addition to coffee in the morning and a good old fashioned whine in the evening; it's the very defaming, demeaning, but delightful 2022 Defamations diary.
ECO-FRIENDLY GIFTS AND SUSTAINABLE SWEARING
Defamations is currently an industry leader in nothing, but we're going to jump on the bandwagon and fully protect the environment. For the record, all our products are produced using the most eco-friendly processes where possible. Taking the piss out of family and friends is as much fun as horizontal folk dancing. We love it. It also makes you laugh, which is good for your heart and soul. We want to be ethical warriors and live in natural harmony with our planet. That is our dream.
We plan to ensure everyone who buys a Defamations paper product is into recycling. We suggest after reading your Defamation product, you scrunch it up and use it as toilet paper.
Here's the disclaimer: We have a carbon-neutral business. We use soy-based inks and recycled paper in our stuff, and we divert all our soft plastics to reuse ethically. Through all stages of production, we reduce, compost, and recycle. We're fucking wonderful.
UNDER THE SOUTHERN CROSS
We're a family-owned business, well, we've always presumed we are family. Our motto is, "Live your life as though you live in a cult", and we did. Gee, we're a lucky bunch of bastards. Like mum always said, "Some kids only have one Dad, you've got three." All of our stuff is tossed together in Australia and dispatched from our outdoor dunny by our trained vultures called "Get the Fuck Out" and "Get the Fuck Here". Most of our team live and work close by in some shit-kicking, town. We think it's called Seeyawhenimlookinatyou, which is what Dad says when he locks the door. He's a fuckin card that bloke.
WE DON'T GIVE A TOSS
Defamations is all about creating a stink. We wanna be the fucking opposite to everyone else. You know have a bloody laugh at some poor buggers expense. None of the oh dear don't do it that way cos it will upset some bearded, cloth wearing, save the fucking horny goat weed from extinction crybaby. None of that friggin politically correct bullshit for us. We provide hysterically funny and occasionally dangerous employment for our staff i.e. cousins. We wanted to make it engaging and strive for a mutually beneficial outcome for everyone, but we got bored, so we gave that shit up. You will be positively pissed off when you deal with Defamations.
